Live Loved

Do you see it? The crown on your head. Do you see it when you look in the mirror? I prayed and asked God for another blog post and as I was reading Psalm 103:4 I could literally see myself standing in front of the mirror with a crown on my head. "God redeems your life from the pit AND CROWNS YOU WITH LOVE and compassion". Do you see it? Do you feel it? 

I can tell you that most days I feel the dampness of the pit. The labels that I have placed on myself pulling me down. "Socially awkward, weird, not good enough". When my child throws a fit in the store, "not a good mom". When I walk into a room full of people, "not worth the conversation". I feel the pit when I say something really silly. The pit gets darker as I sit embarrassed about my blond moments or I try to pull my foot out of my mouth. 

Its easy to feel the pit. The darkness closes in around you and becomes unbearable. But do you see it? Jesus at the door of the pit with His hand out, ready and willing to pull you out. HAPPY to pull you out. The beginning of verse 4 says, " He redeems your life from the pit." Satan wants you to think that your pit on earth is as bad as hell,  but I promise you this isnt close to the eternal pit that Jesus pulls you out of.

Do you see it? The wonderful world around you after you take His hand and allow you to pull you out. Do you feel it now? The crown of love? 

When I was in college and single I spent countless days searching my bible for the scripture that said, "And you, Traci, will marry your soulmate and live happily ever after". I never found it. What I found were scriptures that talked about what God sees in me. 

God created me.
 Psalms 139:13 you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. V.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

God has a plan for me and it is good.
jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you says the lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Please to give you a hope and a future. 

God accepts my broken pieces and makes me whole.
 Psalms 147:3 he heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. 

I do not have to be at my best for Jesus to love me.
 Psalms 147:10 his pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the lord delights in those who fear him, who put there hope in his unfailing love. 

Do you see it now? Do you feel it? Are you allowing it to take over? What label have you put on yourself? "Gossip. Cheater. Unlovable. Drug addict". Take it off. Accept Christ and take it off. Now put on love and acceptance and wear that crown proudly. 

Feel it, dont just wear it, feel it. When you walk into a crowded room dont feel shame. Feel love. Live love. You are loved by God, let that be your confidence. Let His love fill the voids, let it be the light that pulls you out of the darkness. 

The world is cruel, friend, and as women and mothers it feels magnified. But when  you live with the knowledge that you are loved by the creator of the universe, there inst much else that is scary. There inst anything you cant do.

So you walk into a crowded room and you arent sure anyone will talk to you? Adjust your crown and remind yourself that are already loved by God and that truly is enough. You dont NEED (yes, it is nice, but) these peoples love and accpetance. 

So your husband left you and you feel so many emotions that you cant sort them. You arent loved any less by God. Let His love over power the pit as you sort through your feelings and step into the new season of life. 

So you feel like you don't measure up to the other moms that that you see picking up their kids at daycare. When you truly live loved, you don't have to measure yourself up against other women. You are enough. 

You arent sure you are good enough?  You are good enough and you are loved. That isnt an opinion. That isnt debatable. That is a fact. I know it's hard. I'm writing this for myself. sometimes it isn't going to be a warm fuzzy feeling. You will just have to rely on the truth that you ARE loved by God and you're not in the pit alone. 

Overcoming Anxiety

Anxiety. Whoa, what a way to start a blog post! Anxiety. Oh, kind of gives you... anxiety, right?

Anxiety has been the gate keeper in the depth of my soul for far too long. Any time joy tried to escape, anxiety was there to hurl it back into the dark corner of the dungeon of my soul. Sounds kind of dramatic right? It is dramatic. Anxiety does feel that dark and scary. Have you been there? Did you think you would escape? Are you there now, wondering if there is a way out?

You want to know what pulled me out of the pit? What kicked anxiety in the stomach and threw it into the place that it belongs? Psalms 23. Not the version that adults read in their bible. Not the version that lots of sports teams recite before a game. It was the kid version.

I was reading it to my kids at the beginning of the year and the words were so simple and so fresh. They tore down walls that anxiety had built up. They read;

God is my Shepherd

And I am his little lamb.

He feeds me

He guides me

He looks after me.

I have everything I need.

Inside, my heart is very quiet.

As quiet as lying still in soft green grass

In a meadow

By a little stream.

Even when I walk through

The dark, scary, lonely places

I won't be afraid

Because my shepherd knows where I am.

He is here with me.

He keeps me safe

He rescues me

He makes me strong

And brave.

He is getting wonderful

Things ready for me

Especially for me

Everything I ever dreamed of!

He fills my heart so full of happiness

I can't hold it all inside.

Wherever I go I know

God's Never Stopping

Never Giving Up

Unbreaking

Always and Forever Love

Will go, too!

"Even in the dark, scary, lonely places I won't be afraid." What are your dark scary lonely places? Mine is social settings, mostly, church settings. I have tried my hardest for years to make sure that the level of anxiety that I feel wasn't what people saw in me. I was sitting at a strong "crippled by anxiety" level. Most Fellowships I could pull off a smile and a "oh I'm just shy" persona. When the truth is the anxiety was overwhelming. "She doesn't really like you, Traci, she is just talking to you because she has to", "Do you see how fast she turned and talked to the other lady that walked through the door. It because you are weird." The horrible thoughts just kept coming. Kept knocking me down. It didn't take long for loneliness to move in. It took up residence right beside anxiety. Constantly making me feel separated from the rest of the world. 

Satan will do that you know? Take your weaknesses and pounce on them. Attack them and make you feel even more weak than you already are. He won't let up either. He will keep knocking you down until you feel Exhausted and discouraged  and you lose the fight and you give in to the darkness. 

You've got to stay in prayer and stay in the word. Focus on what God has made you to be. Take your thoughts and pair them with scripture. 

When you walk into a room full of people and you are seeking the validation of acceptance from other people in the room. "God is my Shepherd. I am his little lamb." I. Am. His. Who cares if no one talks to you as much as they talk to the other people. Are you loved by God? Yes. Then live that way. You are His. 

When you have anxiety about the future. "He leads me. He guides me. He looks after me. I have EVERYTHING I need." The future is scary but if you follow God into it, it will be the best life for you. Period. 

When you are scared and lonely. When you aren't sure where to find your peace and hope. "Even when I walk through the dark, scary and lonely  places, I won't be afraid, because my shepherd KNOWS where I am." He KNOWS where you are and because He isn't just a guy that sits up somewhere in the sky ruling over you, He will meet you where you are. He will be your friend when you feel that you have none. 

When you are in a room full of women that you aren't sure you fit in with. "He is here with me. He keeps me safe. He rescues me. He makes me strong and brave." 

When I am not sure about my future. " He is getting wonderful things ready for me. Especially for me."

When you are sad. "He fills my heart so full of happiness." 

When you feel distance "wherever I go I know, Gods never stopping, never giving up,unbreaking, always and forever love will go too"

When we live our life in the shadow of the cross with our eyes fixed on Jesus, anxiety can't help but take a back seat. When I tell you friends that I was crippled by anxiety. I'm not being dramatic. I mean it. Crippled, enprisoned, in the darkest place. Ive lost count of the number of times I sat and cried because I couldn't do anything else. It didn't happen over night either. It was a slow process. If you are suffering from anxiety, look to the Savior. Remind yourself often that the savior of the world loves you, created you, has a purpose for you and he delights in you. His purpose is NOT for you to cower in the corner  cuddled up with anxiety. Satan wants you to think that is all there is for you. I urge you to fight friend. Look to Jesus. Do your feelings line up with scripture? If not they aren't from God and you need to find a feeling to line up with Gods word.

Stay encouraged, friend. If you need prayer I will gladly pray for you. If you have questions. I will find the answer. If you need to talk, you guessed it. I can listen. :)