What They Do Not Teach You In College

This time last year I was a new college graduate. If you would have asked me about my plans I would have said: get a job with benefits and a grown-up pay check, pay off loans, start a family and then go to seminary so that I could start my real career of working with college girls. That was the plan because that is what the world told me to do and it made sense.

 My plans didn't work out. I graduated in December and did not find a teaching job. At the end of the summer I found myself with a whole new layer of insecurities as I realized that I was without any fruits to my labor. No benefits. No grown-up pay check.  No feeling of self worth. 

A little drastic? Maybe. But I just felt worthless. With every question, "have you found a job yet? No, well your sister found a job". Just twisted the dagger in my heart a little more. 

You see, while you are in college you are training yourself for a specific skill, a specific role, a specific title with the expectation of one day being called, Mrs. Somebody. When you graduate you receive a piece of paper that states that you have done the work and been trained for a specific job. So that is what you are supposed to pursue right? If you went to college to be a teacher then you teach. If you went to college to be a business woman then why would you pursue a career in anything other than a job with a corner office and a view?

When you are in college you will more than likely create a game plan for yourself and start out following that plan after graduation. What you have to keep in mind is that your plan is not always Gods plan. Your plan might be great. But even if it is, you still need to do what you feel God is leading you too. Sometimes, God will lead you to a place that you are not comfortable with, as uncomfortable as it may be you can not forget that God is with you.

 In college they teach you to ask questions and get answers. With God, sometimes the best thing you can do is to just go. I heard Marion Jordan Ellis say in a message one time that the best thing you can do is to you love Jesus and do what he puts in front of you.

I think it is okay to ask questions, sure, but do not question God. Does that make sense? Do not wait for a five year plan to make a move. Just move. It is not your job to understand. It is your job to obey. 

I made a move this semester, I enrolled at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and am pursuing my Masters in Christian Education and Women's Ministry and I have not stopped looking for a real job. I have found that I stress less now than when I actually had a plan. People do not understand, they want to know my five year plan. They want to know when I will have a job with benefits. All I can tell them is that my goal is to be in a ministry that is focused on teenage/college aged girls. I do not know how I will get there but I trust Christ. Some days I think "I have a college degree, why do I not have a real job?" and then I think about scriptures like 1 Corinthians  2:8-10

   However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,

    what no ear has heard,

and what no human mind has conceived”—

    the things God has prepared for those who love him—

 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

Some days it is hard to be in the place that I am but I remember that God has a plan for me and I have to be here now to get to where I need to be later. I do not know much more than that. As long as I am loving Jesus and doing what is placed in front of me I will be fine. The road ahead is full of a lot of uncertainties, but it does have the one thing that I can rest in, God, he is my confidence.

This is the deal. When you are in college they define success by how quickly you reach your goal and how much money you make. The real success can sometimes be found in the "unsuccessful" days of searching and longing for a job. The real definition of success is pursuing Gods plan for your life and even when it does not make sense you go anyway. You cannot fail if you do that. Even if the world thinks that you are... you. can. not. fail. with. God.

New Year - Old Me

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I am such a huge fan of the new year. My Grandpa told me once that "they" say whatever you are doing when the clock strikes midnight will be what your whole year will be like. I took it to heart. Silly I know... but in the years past I have read my Bible and spent time worshiping at midnight, I have been with friends, so on and so forth. Last year Andrew and I were asleep by 10 pm NYE!! I was ridiculously upset about it!!
So this year I invited our family to Glen Rose to bring in the new year. Naturally we played games all night and I lost. All. Night. Long.

The clock struck midnight and my score turned to the positive. I was more excited about it than I should have been.

Like most people, I set goals for the new year. This year they are simple.

1. Be excited about every day the same way that I am excited about the new year. Because God's mercies are new every morning, not just every new year. Along with this, I have made Psalm 37: 23-26 my verse  to claim for the year.

2. Be positive. I was extremely negative this past year and honestly, I am over it.

3. Journal every day. Maybe this will be a blog post all on its own. I believe journaling is as healthy as drinking 8 cups of water a day.

4. Get back to the old me. Back to the days when I did not think about working out or eating right, it was not a choice it was just what I did.

5. Reconnect with old friends. I REALLY MISS all of my friends that I left in East Texas and I really, really want to figure out how to balance life in North Texas while still maintaining friendships hours away.

There it is folks. These are all things that I use to do. For whatever reason, 2013 wreaked havoc on my mind and health. So this new year is going to be about getting back to the old me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

What are your goals?